My Biggest Mistakes
As difficult as it is to come to terms with, everyone on a health journey has felt their ups and downs. The ups make us feel unstoppable, like we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. But the downs can dim that light to the point where all we see is a pitch-black purgatory—never knowing when the pain will stop.
Believe me, I’ve been there. Every time I felt like I had healed, something else was right around the corner waiting to knock me down again.
In this post, I’ll share some of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in my PCOS journey—so you don’t have to make the same ones. (The rest of my health journey deserves its own post.)
Mistake #1 - Thinking I Can Heal Alone
Yes, you have the power to heal yourself. The mind is a powerful tool and you can 100% heal yourself, as explained thoroughly in the book “Mind over Medicine” by Lissa Rankin. But, we can’t heal in isolation. Community, love, happiness, shared experiences, learning, helping, kindness; These are all feelings and actions that require the presence of others.
I am notorious (my friends know this) for going MIA when I get stressed, and I get stressed a lot - but that is also a story for another time. I tend to isolate from the people who would help me feel better and I hide all emotions, thinking no one else can help me. When I first got diagnosed with PCOS, I was lucky since it didn’t take too long as some people wait years for this diagnosis, but the first thing the doctor said to me was “you will need to start birth control, when you want to get pregnant it will be difficult but you can do IVF, and you might have health problems later on like diabetes and heart disease.” There was no hope in her voice. Like the determined girl that I was at 19 years old, I said “I’m going to heal myself”.
It took about 8 months and a unique experience with a doctor from Romania for me to realize that other people can hold the answers you are looking for. This doctor, instead of seeing me as solely a patient with a problem to be fixed, she saw me as a person. This gynecology appointment turned into a therapy session. She got to the root cause of what has triggered my PCOS and it wasn’t physical. It was a mental trigger. Stress.
There are a few different types of PCOS since it is a syndrome (not a disease) so it presents differently in everyone. (See previous blog post about syndrome vs. disease for more info).
I never would have realized that PCOS, what was thought to be solely a fertility and blood sugar problem, would be psychological at its root. My stress became so severe and internalized that I had developed adrenal fatigue PCOS. This doctor not only gave me hope for the medical community, given how horrible my first encounter went, but she showed me how important a connection with others is. Everyone has the power to heal others, even if it’s by lending an ear or shoulder to cry on. I never got medication from this doctor, only her wisdom and a recommendation for a natural supplement called inositol to help restore my menstrual cycle. And that one moment of connection set me on a new path.
Mistake #2 - Over Exercising for Weight Loss
Like many people who get a diagnosis of PCOS, I had 10 lbs of unexplained weight gain within one month. I am short, so this was quite noticeable on my body type given that my diet didn’t change. It was the beginning of my second year of university and I suddenly began gaining fat and my face was constantly puffy and bloated. This was very strange given I was just in the best shape of my life that summer training for the Montreal Marathon. I had gained 5 lbs of muscle in that summer due to training and eating more, but I was toned and healthy and energized. I got injured during my longest training run of 18 miles and it felt like overnight I had gained fat, lost muscle, became fatigued, and lost my period. Now, I don’t think it was the marathon training that caused the stress on me for my PCOS, I think it was everything that came after.
I felt like a failure for getting injured after months of training, I felt stupid at school for not getting good enough grades like my peers, and I moved into the city where I had the freedom to go out and engage in unhealthy behaviors. All factors together were a recipe for disaster. It took one year to lose 10 lbs of fat and trial & error with my diet/exercise. Going from intense training to weight gain is tough. I felt like I needed to work out harder and harder to lose the weight, even making sure to “focus on my core” when going for a simple walk. It wasn’t until I slowed down, where I truly saw results.
As a yoga teacher we are trained to slow down and connect with the mind body and spirit, but I lost touch with myself and everything I was taught when looking at myself in the mirror with hatred. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I am unsure where I saw the tip to slow down movement for PCOS (I think it was Gracie Norton) but it truly did wonders. Since my type of PCOS is adrenal fatigue driven, I truly needed to slow down.
Mistake #3 - Ignoring the Nervous System
Our nervous system is constantly on overload in this day and age where we get overstimulated on social media. Constantly doomed by the feeling that our life is not enough. Our brain was not meant to comprehend all the faces we see on social media. This completely dysregulates our nervous system, and most of us don’t even realize it until we feel like sh*t. Put that phone down!!
I began meditating again and doing breath-work. In my yoga training, we don’t just learn about asana (the postures) but also pranayama (breath) and Dhyana (meditation). As I said, I had all the tools to heal, I just needed the help to look into my tool box and pick the right methods. Finally I reconnected with my yoga training which has helped tremendously even in other aspects of my life and health. Read the book “Yoga as Medicine” by Timothy McCall, M.D if this interests you! But I truly felt the most connected to my body when these three aspects of yoga became a daily practice again. I began yoga in high school and never stopped. There are 8 limbs of yoga and each one helps the nervous system in a special way - go look them up if you feel called to do so and implement one at a time to see your life transform.
Find a youtube meditation or get an app, it truly doesn’t matter how you do it, just do it. Do 4-7-8 breathing, box breathing, etc. Health doesn’t need to be expensive or unattainable and I can promise you, this is probably the most beneficial thing you can do for yourself if you are suffering from any health issue. Breath, meditate, connect to the self.
Mistake #4 - Thinking a Supplement Will Cure Me
I hate to break it to you, a supplement is not a cure, but they can be another tool in your toolkit to help with healing. I take Milamend supplement which is a comprehensive blend made by a woman for other women with PCOS and hypothyroidism. I started taking inositol one year before switching to Milamend, and honestly that was good enough for me, but I liked the message of this brand and the NSF certification proves its quality. Since taking it, I feel I have less hirsutism, less cystic acne, and less spontaneous weight gain. I would recommend to anyone looking for a supplement for hormonal balance. BUT, a supplement alone will never help you. You must have the ‘fantastic four’ perfected if you want a supplement to help.
Now, what is the fantastic four? I’m glad you asked. It is my four pillars of health: Nutrition, Movement, Sleep, Rest. But Maya, Isn’t sleep and rest the same thing? NO! it is not. Sleep is obviously when we go to bed for 7-9 hours per night, but rest is what we do during the day to regulate the nervous system and destress. This could be a hobby, being part of a community, painting, singing, cooking, cleaning, etc. Rest is critical for the brain so we don’t work ourselves into burnout.
As long as these 4 pillars of health are what you prioritize daily, you will hopefully not need a supplement, or if you do, you will actually see its benefits since it’s working with you - not against you.
Mistake #5 - Waiting for Motivation
Motivation will never come if you have chronic fatigue and hate to look at yourself in the mirror. When you hate yourself, you don’t have motivation. If you want to feel better, it take discipline. It takes hard work ever day. It takes saying “No” to friends and family, setting boundaries with those around you. It takes cutting out people who bring you down. It takes doing the hard things because you know they will help. It takes reading that book because you need to learn in order to heal. It takes illness to never take health for granted.
Motivation lasts about 5 minutes after watching a motivational instagram reel or youtube video on “How to get out of a rut” or after reading a self help book. Maybe a week if you are lucky. But if you truly want to feel better, you need to push yourself - in a healthy way of course - to be better. As stated in the book “Atomic Habits”, strive to be 1% better every day because the growth is exponential from there. If you feel like you want to relax after a long day, pick up a book. If you want to exercise but you don’t feel energized, go for a walk or do yoga or follow a youtube workout. There is always a way to show up for the version of you that you want to become. You are the only one in your way.
Conclusion
I don’t consider myself religious, but the book “The Awakened Brain” by Lisa Miller, has shown me the importance of spirituality as an innate quality we all posses. Not only will it lower depression and anxiety, but it will give you hope and faith that things will get better. And sometimes that is all we need. A little bit of faith goes a long way.
So, find your community, move your body in a way that makes you happy and energized, support the nervous system by consciously breathing through life, there is no quick fix for health, and don’t wait for motivation to kick in before you begin to heal. Stay tuned for the next blog post to see what actually worked for my health journey.
If you struggle with any of this, please reach out to me - even if you just want to chat.
If you are interested in 1:1 health coaching Email or DM me at thecurehealthlab@gmail.com or @pcoswithmaya on instagram. Check out my coaching packages if you want personalized care for your healing journey.
I would love to hear from you - what do you want to hear in the next blog post?
